Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I'm lame.
This week I worked close to fifty hours. Both of my parents are in South America, and although I support myself minus my cell phone bill, I still like knowing that I can ask my dad for some support if I am feeling a bit squeezed. I haven't had that option and therefore have been absolutely terrified about money. I have JUST enough for rent and this next week I am going to be living off very minimal money. Since I start my new job tomorrow I have to wait for a paycheck and won't be making cash at Bravo this week. I'm pretty nervous. I think I'm going to have to reach to alternate ways of making money like selling clothes, plasma, my body.
My feelings have been so conflicted lately. And last night my feelings became even more so conflicted. I don't particularly know what Arvind was trying to pull with his shananigans. Even though he was past a healthy drunk point, things were said, and my mind got to thinking. I've put myself in weird situations with many people lately. I haven't felt close to much of anyone.
My birthday is next week and I feel like it isn't going to be all that exicitng. Which is fine. I just wish I had something to look forward to.
I can't wait for my mom to come home. These times are when I appreciate my family the most. And these are the times I just want to pack up and do the things I say I want to (join the peace corps, travel south america, etc.). Maybe I really will in a few months.
One day I will make a happy post, but lately I just have weird feelings and unsettling thoughs.
My feelings have been so conflicted lately. And last night my feelings became even more so conflicted. I don't particularly know what Arvind was trying to pull with his shananigans. Even though he was past a healthy drunk point, things were said, and my mind got to thinking. I've put myself in weird situations with many people lately. I haven't felt close to much of anyone.
My birthday is next week and I feel like it isn't going to be all that exicitng. Which is fine. I just wish I had something to look forward to.
I can't wait for my mom to come home. These times are when I appreciate my family the most. And these are the times I just want to pack up and do the things I say I want to (join the peace corps, travel south america, etc.). Maybe I really will in a few months.
One day I will make a happy post, but lately I just have weird feelings and unsettling thoughs.
Friday, July 17, 2009
I'm sick of you making me sad.
and acting one way in public.
and a different way when we're apart from eachother.
you broke my heart and your breaking it all over again.
There is something between us, and I hold unfortunate hopes in these dumb actions we show one another.
I've had my distractions but nothing has been enough. I need to learn to be content alone.
and acting one way in public.
and a different way when we're apart from eachother.
you broke my heart and your breaking it all over again.
There is something between us, and I hold unfortunate hopes in these dumb actions we show one another.
I've had my distractions but nothing has been enough. I need to learn to be content alone.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
weird.
Will these weird feelings ever go away? Really great always turns into really weird for me.
I've had a headache/anxious brain for two straight days now and it is really wearing on me.
Vacation, please.
I've had a headache/anxious brain for two straight days now and it is really wearing on me.
Vacation, please.
Monday, June 29, 2009
runs house and random thoughts.
Why is this show so entertaining to me? It is probablly really boring for most people, but it entertains me way too much.
I just ran 3 miles after work. I could be the most angry, unhappy, dissatisfied person ever and running would make me feel better for atleast ten hours.
I drank two cups of black coffee this morning on an empty stomach and got oddly anxious and nervous. That feeling is hard to describe, but I absolutely hate it.
I'm horribly sick of being at work constantly... and on top of that, just not making a whole lot of money in the past week. A waste of time and energy and even worse, just knowing friends are out having a blast. While I'm being terribly undertipped and getting one table in three hours.
I'm at my mom's keeping her company since she is a lonely bird and she just called me out for something I can't control. Despite how much I love my mother, being around someone who is so dependent on me is eternally frustrating.
I wish my goal of reading thirty books this summer, turning into a crafty girl, and spending less money was coming true?
Still happy despite a weird feeling sort of day.
I just ran 3 miles after work. I could be the most angry, unhappy, dissatisfied person ever and running would make me feel better for atleast ten hours.
I drank two cups of black coffee this morning on an empty stomach and got oddly anxious and nervous. That feeling is hard to describe, but I absolutely hate it.
I'm horribly sick of being at work constantly... and on top of that, just not making a whole lot of money in the past week. A waste of time and energy and even worse, just knowing friends are out having a blast. While I'm being terribly undertipped and getting one table in three hours.
I'm at my mom's keeping her company since she is a lonely bird and she just called me out for something I can't control. Despite how much I love my mother, being around someone who is so dependent on me is eternally frustrating.
I wish my goal of reading thirty books this summer, turning into a crafty girl, and spending less money was coming true?
Still happy despite a weird feeling sort of day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)